From the #MoronFiles | Can’t Read or Lazy as F*ck?

PRELUDE: 

Without getting into too much detail, let’s just say that I see all kinds of crazy stuff in my line of work. Some of the things that come across my desk make me frustrated with society and you probably know that I blog about Fighting Fair on the Internet because of the things that I see.  In addition, sometimes the things that I see that frustrate me include others that are part of my profession. Like any profession, there are certain shit bags (okay, maybe they aren’t all shit bags…just most of them) out there that give us lawyers a bad reputation and quite frankly, it pisses me off.

Some things that I see warrant a full blog article – so I write those.  Others just warrant a short mention because I find the conduct both outrageous AND funny.  I’ve decided to start a collection of true stories, with some identifying facts modified so I don’t have to deal with the psychos, and will be continually adding more of those to the #MORONFILES for your reading pleasure:

07/09/2018 #MORONFILES ENTRY:

Today, maybe I’m a bit fired up.  It’s hot as hell here in sunny Phoenix, Arizona and maybe that’s starting to aggitate me a little more than ususal.  Nevertheless, I have another #MoronFiles entry for you today.

I see a lot of demand letters on behalf of my clients; a product of respresenting different websites. The standard process is: I get a wholly ridiculous demand letter, often written by some pro-per guy (which I totally give leeway to) or attorney that doesn’t practice in the internet space, let alone the niche that revolves around Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act (a “dabbler” if you will); I respond with a TRUCK LOAD of on point law – from federal statues to federal and state case law around the country (often including law in said dabbler’s jurisdiction too) explaining why their demand is without merit (aka, total garbage).  Most of the time that works because smart people or counsel will take time to read the law and come back days later trying to work out an agreement or will otherwise find an alternative path that doesn’t involve my client.  I don’t charge them for providing this free legal education that, in my opinion, (especially if they are an attorney) they should have researched before they sent said dumpster fire of a meritless demand letter.  No big deal – I like educating people.  When the tide rises – so do all the boats, right?

This was not the experience today.  Instead, I get dumpster fire demand letter from a dabbler (I looked counsel up – NOT internet law at all – as in, as far from that as one can get) and from one of my “problem child” states (yes, certain counsel from certain states tend to suck at life more than others); I send the lengthy, but relatively PC “your demand is garbage” with all the case law; and…30 minutes later…I got a response back that said something along the lines of “I disagree with your legal analysis.”  Um, first of all, there is no way in hell you read all that case law in 30 minutes; and second, if you did read it (not possible) a response of “I disagree with your legal analysis” suggests to me that you have a reading comprehension issue. So, you can’t read or you are lazy as f*ck?  Which is it?  My guess? Lazy. As. F*ck.

The additional posturing in the response back suggests to me that this is yet another dabbler who doesn’t give two shits about his/her client and is willing to file meritless legal action, to line his/her pocket with money, with no probable benefit to the client.  Assuming that the court acts in the same manner as all the other cases in this jurisdiction that my clients and others similarly situated have dealt with, and elsewhere around the country, the action will be dismissed right away with ZERO benefit to the client.

I fricken HATE attorneys like that…and this is why this person made the #MoronFiles.  Remember, not all attorneys are created equal.  Some of us actually give a crap and will do the appropriate reasearch ahead of time instead of making you look bad or making your situation worse.

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From the #MoronFiles | I’m not a lawyer…I just play one online.

PRELUDE: 

Without getting into too much detail, let’s just say that I see all kinds of crazy stuff in my line of work. Some of the things that come across my desk make me frustrated with society and you probably know that I blog about Fighting Fair on the Internet because of the things that I see.  In addition, sometimes the things that I see that frustrate me include others that are part of my profession. Like any profession, there are certain shit bags (okay, maybe they aren’t all shit bags…just most of them) out there that give us lawyers a bad reputation and quite frankly, it pisses me off.

Some things that I see warrant a full blog article – so I write those.  Others just warrant a short mention because I find the conduct both outrageous AND funny.  I’ve decided to start a collection of true stories, with some identifying facts modified so I don’t have to deal with the psychos, and will be continually adding more of those to the #MORONFILES for your reading pleasure:

04/10/2018 #MORONFILES ENTRY:

It’s been a while, and there have been some probably post worthy matters that I have skipped, but THIS one warrants mention.

Normally this blog touches on people who are indeed real lawyers…and I started this thinking I was dealing with a real lawyer, after all, I see enough dumb stuff that I created this blog series off of it…but as I dug in, this almost makes more sense! Let me explain…

One of my clients received a demand letter today (a send via email in a generic word doc, no formal letterhead, nothing).  The letter alleges to be from a lawyer, with a firm name in a signature block, but sent from a Gmail account.  Let me first say, anytime I receive a letter from a lawyer, representing a client, from a Gmail account, I cringe. Dude, a domain is cheap and so is associated email.  You automatically lose credibility in my book but that’s another story for a different day.  I read through the letter (blah, blah, blah…”[s]evere legal action will be taken against you”…blah, blah, blah…”we assure you in the strongest terms” blah blah blah, we will “leave no stone unturned”…blah, blah, blah).  Okay, severe legal action? As opposed to regular legal action? Strongest terms? Leaving no stone unturned? Wait, are you Perry Mason?  No? You have Perry Mason envy don’t you?  Sigh. Who comes up with this crap? Oh, this person…

To begin with, let’s just say this is another case of some moron having no damn clue what they are talking about…all the blah blah blah is really just a bunch of lame bullshit they probably read somewhere online and thought it might apply to their “client’s” situation when it doesn’t.  Not even a little bit.  That Google law degree isn’t working so well for ya pal.  What’s even more funny…the person appears to be a total fraud!

So wondering what kind of ding dong would write this kind of stuff I start researching.  The state this person purports to be an attorney in has, like many states, a mandatory state bar registry.  Guess what?  Not listed in the registry.  Look up the LLC that is the alleged firm name on the Corporation Commission records…yeah, entity doesn’t exist.  Look up the address – it might be an apartment (which to be clear, thanks to technology, there are a ton of home based attorneys and there is nothing wrong with that at all – it’s a great way to go!) but in this case it added to the suspicion. Icing on this shit cake – looked into the name provided – court records for recent arrests for a person with that very unique name.  Could there be others named the same living in the same area? Possibly…but given everything else, I sort of doubt it.  Either this is a really shoddy attorney or a person who really sucks at pretending to be an attorney.

There are enough bad lawyers out there…what’s worse is bad people, who are not lawyers but pretending to be lawyers, holding themselves out as such.  By the way such conduct is called the unauthorized (or unlicensed) practice of law and is typically considered a crime.  So indeed, this one makes the #MORONFILES!

UPDATE: This person got turned into the State Bar for Unauthorized Practice of Law and had to sign a document affirming they would stop their ways.  Nope…not a lawyer…and got busted for pretending to be one.  Yeah, that stopped that bullshit in a hurry.