Without getting into too much detail, let’s just say that I see all kinds of crazy stuff in my line of work. Some of the things that come across my desk make me frustrated with society and you probably know that I blog about Fighting Fair on the Internet because of the things that I see. In addition, sometimes the things that I see that frustrate me include others that are part of my profession. Like any profession, there are certain shit bags (okay, maybe they aren’t all shit bags…just most of them) out there that give us lawyers a bad reputation and quite frankly, it pisses me off.
Some things that I see warrant a full blog article – so I write those. Others just warrant a short mention because I find the conduct both outrageous AND funny. I’ve decided to start a collection of true stories, with some identifying facts modified so I don’t have to deal with the psychos, and will be continually adding more of those to the #MORONFILES for your reading pleasure:
07/09/2018 #MORONFILES ENTRY:
Today, maybe I’m a bit fired up. It’s hot as hell here in sunny Phoenix, Arizona and maybe that’s starting to aggitate me a little more than ususal. Nevertheless, I have another #MoronFiles entry for you today.
I see a lot of demand letters on behalf of my clients; a product of respresenting different websites. The standard process is: I get a wholly ridiculous demand letter, often written by some pro-per guy (which I totally give leeway to) or attorney that doesn’t practice in the internet space, let alone the niche that revolves around Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act (a “dabbler” if you will); I respond with a TRUCK LOAD of on point law – from federal statues to federal and state case law around the country (often including law in said dabbler’s jurisdiction too) explaining why their demand is without merit (aka, total garbage). Most of the time that works because smart people or counsel will take time to read the law and come back days later trying to work out an agreement or will otherwise find an alternative path that doesn’t involve my client. I don’t charge them for providing this free legal education that, in my opinion, (especially if they are an attorney) they should have researched before they sent said dumpster fire of a meritless demand letter. No big deal – I like educating people. When the tide rises – so do all the boats, right?
This was not the experience today. Instead, I get dumpster fire demand letter from a dabbler (I looked counsel up – NOT internet law at all – as in, as far from that as one can get) and from one of my “problem child” states (yes, certain counsel from certain states tend to suck at life more than others); I send the lengthy, but relatively PC “your demand is garbage” with all the case law; and…30 minutes later…I got a response back that said something along the lines of “I disagree with your legal analysis.” Um, first of all, there is no way in hell you read all that case law in 30 minutes; and second, if you did read it (not possible) a response of “I disagree with your legal analysis” suggests to me that you have a reading comprehension issue. So, you can’t read or you are lazy as f*ck? Which is it? My guess? Lazy. As. F*ck.
The additional posturing in the response back suggests to me that this is yet another dabbler who doesn’t give two shits about his/her client and is willing to file meritless legal action, to line his/her pocket with money, with no probable benefit to the client. Assuming that the court acts in the same manner as all the other cases in this jurisdiction that my clients and others similarly situated have dealt with, and elsewhere around the country, the action will be dismissed right away with ZERO benefit to the client.
I fricken HATE attorneys like that…and this is why this person made the #MoronFiles. Remember, not all attorneys are created equal. Some of us actually give a crap and will do the appropriate reasearch ahead of time instead of making you look bad or making your situation worse.